I’m rarely lost for words but I’m so tired: this will be short. My baby girl has taken another two overdoses since I last wrote, or is it three? She’s at the hospital now with her Daddy.
Her desire to die is gaining momentum and I’m scared like I have never been scared before. You see, I believe her when she says she is tired of fighting to live, that she is exhausted with it all.
To “the outside world” she is doing OK: we’ve even had two CAMHs appointments today as part of their valiant efforts to keep her safe and out of hospital…and they won’t have seen tonight coming. I’ve been like the manic, obsessed mother for a week now, almost begging to be heard when I say I’m scared she won’t see Christmas.
My 11 year old told me how excited she was about Christmas yesterday, that it will be the best ever, and all I could think was “please Lizzie, not before Christmas; don’t leave that little girl with a lifetime of fear & pain at this time of year”.
I need to go now; my kids are rallying…needing to be with their mum. They sense it too I fear….
Stay Strong x