How we got here…

I shall call my daughter Lizzie. We have 6 children, including Lizzie, and they will be known as angels 1-6, angel 1 being the eldest and angel 6 the youngest. Lizzie is angel number 5.

Our story began shortly after she was born but this journey truly began just over a year ago. Lizzie was an academic superstar: not necessarily top of her class in every subject but a bright, super smart, deep thinking 12 year old; the only thing that truly set her apart from her peers was that she was, and still is, way beyond her years! She wanted to be a Human Rights Lawyer and given her amazing sense of empathy and her ability to argue with the best of them, we all thought she was well suited to this career!

But her attendance at school started to slip: nothing really noticeable at first but a series of “illnesses” meant it was starting to become a problem. Why do I emphasis “illnesses” in such a way? Well, they were justifiable, she was even hospitalised twice, but in hindsight, we know now that they were psychosomatic, some even made up.  There has been a lot of hindsight in the past year.

Less then a week after her 13th birthday, whilst attending an orthodontist consultation for her that she refused to go to, I got a call from my 17 year old son urging me to come home: Lizzie was stood in the bath covered in blood. She had slashed a razor over her beautiful body and carved the word “fat” into her arm. Long story short, we went to hospital and Lizzie had a psychiatric review by CAMHS (children & adolescent mental health services).

Since then, she has attempted suicide by overdose 3 times and has had 3 admissions to adolescent mental health units: her shortest admission was 4 weeks and her longest was just over 2 months. Today, she wants to die. She sees no point in her life. My beautiful little girl, who has so much to live for, has given up.

There are a million gaps to fill in and I will add them where relevant but ultimately, I will try and update our journey daily. This could be your child, your brother, your sister, your grandchild, niece, nephew….you get the message; awareness helps, it has to, there has to be a purpose.

7 thoughts on “How we got here…”

  1. Gosh. This is serious. My own daughter is 13 and I know only too well, how fragile they really are. She’s been through so much already (having had a life threatening condition when she was 8) – we nearly lost her. I see how stressful everyday life is these days for our youngsters. I watch her like a hawk – making sure I’m there to catch her if she even wobbles a little. What a brave and courageous family you are. X


  2. This makes my heart race so fast. My daughter too is incredibly bright and a human rights/feminist supporter and old beyond her years. Thank you for starting this blog – I will be reading with interest whenever you update. xx


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